Start As I Mean To Go On

So about a month ago, on the 17th of November I had a bit of an anxiety attack.
I had my first assignment in, the next day at 12pm and I needed 1000 more words out of a 1,500 report, I was on the phone to my mum telling her how much I hated the bureaucracy of university and the elitism behind relating studies and was really considering quitting, becoming a jobless idiot and sponging on a hateful Britain.
My main arguements to my mum were
  • Who the fuck is giving me a grade anyway? The government, the same government I want to change, was i milking it (especially at nine grand per year tuition fee) to then stab my country in its back and change the status quo.
  • Are the government fucking me over, they determine who gets the best grades and the best jobs and then we are forced to pay education back. Studying and university libraries should be free to all. 
  • If they are, I'm gonna be drowning in taxes by the time i get a secure and well paid job (over £50,000) all my hard work in university will be pissed away back to the government that i had to pay to get the education in the first place.
My conclusion was, I was gonna live in a tree and live off the land, declare myself dead and pay no taxes.
My mum persuaded me to SHUT THE FUCK UP, PULL MYSELF TOGETHER, and do my essay, to which my reply was, yeah but if I get a crap grade I was gonna quit University and set up the tanning business I had planned (I'm a perfectionist, and therefore I see anything below a 60% as a shit effort and a crap grade, as 60% is 10% away from a 1st class honours, I was aiming high for one nights worth of work).

I managed to hand it in with 30 minutes left before deadline was up, print it in 12pt and double spaced, and black and white (this come to my peril later) and even submit it online to turnitin for plagiarism check.

We got the grade back today, and when he was giving his critique of all the shit, all of us did wrong, I started to get happier and happier because I didn't do most of the things he had mentioned.(apart from print it out in black and white with coloured charts) My plans of living in a tree and raising spray tanned pigs were slowly diminishing.

When he had handed out everyone's papers with their grade attached, I was still left without mine. 
OH MY GOD HAD I FAILED, he told me to go to office at 12pm and in the mean time I met some friends had some coffee and slowly shit my pants little by little, I even did what most girls do when they are having serious anxiety, I bought some chocolate and stuffed my face.

I left the student union at ten to the hour and slowly walked to his room, thinking I was bang on 12pm I opened the door and asked him if I was "bang on", and he said "yeah its good effort you got a 67".

I totally was on about the time and was sooooooo fucking happy!!!!! 

67% for one nights worth of work while crying to my mum about living in a tree is fucking amazing!
I'm so proud of myself, he said had I edited it, (in my head i heard spent more time than 12 hours) I could have got a first!!!!!! 

I'd love to hear about any of your break-down-success stories where you were seriously thinking about giving up the ghost until you realise it is alive and you did pretty amazing, work or school related. Lets all laugh at how neurotic we are. 

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